Ah autumn, season of mellow fruitfulness – makes one think of cold, crisp days and walks involving satisfying strides through dead leaves…
On the other hand, the rain may set in round about the beginning of October accompanied by strong winds and not let up until early December when the snow starts. To avoid some of the rain and to stock up on Vitamin D*, we’re now off for a week to Tenerife and our last holiday as a legally unattached pair.
The holiday preparation is similar to the kind of things most brides-to-be feel compelled to do – diet, exercise like crazy, write lists, rub in lotions and potions and experiment with different hair styles.
Oh, and remove excess body hair. To this end, I visited a salon today for a spot of depilation as I’ve never mastered the art of waxing my own legs. The salon offered designer, intimate waxing (the mind boggled), which I turned down feeling that my lady bits** were not in need of that kind of attention.
Thinking about the wedding though – given that my legs will be completely covered, does that excuse me from leg waxing and, if I keep my arms pinned to my sides, then that surely means the underarms can be left European? The time I spend on waxing, shaving, plucking and the like can then be put to more productive use.
You might argue that my husband-to-be deserves a hair-free wife on his wedding night. Maybe so, but I suspect that following the excitement of the day and a little ‘refreshment’ or two both of us will be falling into bed exhausted by the end of the day!
*We Scots miss out on the natural acquisition of Vitamin D much of the time and especially so this summer.
**Caitlin Moran’s rather fabulous How to be a Woman has a hilarious chapter on what you should call your lady bits; I favour the coolly quaint quim, myself.