Let Her Eat Cake

Sometimes genres seem too limiting, don’t they? One of the fabulous things about the modern-day publishing industry is that it allows a lot of niche genres – Highlander romance,for example. I decided to create a little niche of my own – plus-size vampire erotica. I don’t think it exists yet. See what you think.

[Actually, the content isn’t too “erotica” so read on without fear of being too offended…]

victoria spongeSay what you like about plus size vampire erotica, but the costumes were beautiful.

Plus size vampire erotica’s leading lady loved her clothing. At the moment she was wearing pantaloons, baggy round her thighs but narrow at the calves and beautifully patterned. She was also dressed in an under-bust steam punk corset, its cords pulled in as tight as possible giving her a 24-inch waist, from the top of which her propped up breasts spilled out, and stiletto-heeled boots. Finished off with a cropped wrap that tied under that magnificent bust, she was a gloriously scary sight to behold.

The fear factor was compounded by the pale skin and the flash of very sharp canines. Yikes, dare fancy this woman and see what it gets you…

That was the message Eve hoped her appearance gave out, although she was
not entirely sure it was working.

The present company seemed to be not in the least intimidated. They drooled over this representation of plus size vampire erotica. They were… well, not at all scared.

Across the room and discreetly out of the line of sight of everyone else Cordelia winked at her, a smirk highlighting her beautiful features. Cordelia had curled the fingers of her left hand in and was studying her nails. Eve knew those nails, the neat pearly ovals with their iridescent gleam. Cordelia was an expert at putting her nails (and her fingers) to excellent use.

Eve stepped forward, the action jolting those generous breasts propped up so expertly by the steampunk corset forward. The room held its breath momentarily and let it out.

Male and female – they were all slaves to those propped up breasts which definitely grabbed all the attention no matter where they were.

Cordelia blew on her nails once again and smirked for a second time. Ah, she felt like Michael Caine in Educating Rita. Look at her prodigy! Wasn’t she wonderful? Look at this girl go!

Eve continued to sashay across the room. It looked as if she was making her way towards Cordelia. She fastened her eyes on Cordelia but extended an arm, lazily beckoning with the forefinger of her right hand. The lucky man who found himself pointed to sniggered, smirking to his companions who all made “go on my son” type noises and gestures.

Eve drew the lucky man towards her and kissed him, a deep kiss that he returned with a great deal of enthusiasm. She could sense Cordelia’s eyes boring into the two of them, a sense of feeling that only drove her to keep kissing. Mr Lucky was not complaining.

Two minutes in and Eve was… bored. Mr Lucky might think he was quids in, but Eve had moved on an eon ago. Cordelia winked once more: she must have sensed her boredom.


With a slight shrug of her shoulders, Eve flexed those canines and bit down hard on Mr No Longer Lucky’s neck. She sank her teeth into his neck, her canines managing the miraculous job of holding his body close to hers as she sucked the life blood out of him, all the time her eyes fixed on Cordelia.

The lady herself had started a slow hand clap. Clap. Clap. Clap.

Eve threw the by now lifeless Mr Not So Lucky off her. All of the people surrounding her had reassessed the situation (we are in a good one, oh f**k we really are NOT!) and had thrown themselves back against the building’s exterior wall.

Another issue about plus-size vampire eroticism meant that one body was never enough. Cordelia – who was most definitely a feeder – had anticipated Eve’s yet to be satiated hunger. The fleeing crowd had not spotted her as they made their abrupt departure and she had managed to grab hold of two of Mr No Longer Lucky’s friends, who were struggling furiously and screaming their heads off.

Oh, was there ever such an obliging woman? Setting aside her own needs to ensure that of her girlfriend’s were met?

Eve took one of the struggling men and sank her teeth in quickly, cutting off the screams. The blood tasted amazing – rich, salty and warm, she could feel every drop of it flowing into her body travelling down and along all of those capillaries. She could feel her face and body heating up, giving off a warm, pink glow.

Cordelia had gestured at the second man, but with an immense act of will power, Eve shook her head and Cordelia finished him off, the two of them discarding both bodies almost in sync.

“Had enough sweetheart?” Cordelia came closer, leaning in so that Eve could smell the lushness of her latest victim’s blood on her breath. Cordelia curled an arm round her shoulder – a slightly tricky move seeing as Eve was much larger than her – and trailed her fingers softly on those propped up breasts.

Eve kissed her, greedily seeking the final remnants of Mr Unlucky Three.

“Not quite yet,” she murmured as she came up for air some minutes later. The two of them were now panting heavily.
Cordelia steeped back – the smirk back on her face.

“Oh Eve – you’ve taken to this so well! I’m so proud of you!” she said and took hold of her hand, gripping Eve’s fingers tightly and pulling her towards the back of the hall.

There, at the back of the hall, was laid out an extensive selection of cakes, pastries, tarts and biscuits. The hall had been the venue for a charity bake sale in aid of the local football club.

Eve had thought initially that vampires only lived on blood – that they were unable to eat human food once they’d made the transition from human to sub-human. Not so the plus-size vampire, however. She was capable of demolishing bodies two or three at a time and still her greed ran rampant.

Cordelia walked up to the table, inspecting the wares all expertly baked by the town’s keenest amateur bakers. As this was a town where unspoken competition existed in many areas, the standard of baking was superb.

Cordelia’s inspection finished, she turned round to face Eve, holding a plate bearing a huge Victoria sponge cake, its middle oozing with jam and cream.

Eve smiled – oh, perfect. Without bothering with the social niceties of slicing and plating up, Cordelia tore a chunk out of the cake and held it in front of her. Eve moved forward until the cake was directly in front of her face. She extended a tongue, letting it dance from side to side for a few seconds before taking in a mouthful of the cream.

Lightly sweetened and perfectly matched with strawberry jam that burst with fruit flavour, it was delicious. Cordelia pushed the chunk of cake into Eve’s mouth, letting her fingers rest on the lips as Eve chewed and swallowed.

Five minutes later the entire cake had disappeared. Cordelia put down the plate and took hold of her girlfriend’s hand once more.

“I think we’d better get out of here,” she said. “The townspeople will be back at some point – probably with silver bullets, garlic and all that kind of nonsense.”

Eve nodded her agreement. “Good enough reason to go,” she said, but the urgency of their departure added a certain frisson to the situation. With a smile at Cordelia she leaned in for another kiss, pulling the thinner woman to her and caressing her ass.

“But time for a little more fun yet, hmm?”





2 thoughts on “Let Her Eat Cake

  1. Impressively politically correct, Emma. Perhaps we should start a campaign to ban Size 0 vmpires? One of those 38 Degrees or Change.org might do it.

Comments are closed.