About Emma

Emma Baird is a type 1 diabetic and a writer, specialising in romcoms and fiction that focuses on relationships. She is also the co-author of The Diabetes Diet and she runs her own blogging/PR business. Most importantly, she is the guardian of two very spoiled cats…

Unleashing the Thrills: Exploring Scotland’s Landscapes on Two Wheels

Ullapool, the west coast of Scotland

If you want to do Scotland’s scenery justice, there are few better ways than exploring it on a motorbike.

Last weekend, Sandy and I joined my brother and sister-in-law for a trip through the Highlands’ stunning terrain, taking in Callandar, Killin, Fort William, the Bealach na Bà pass, Applecross, parts of the North Coast 500, Ullapool, Glencoe and Tyndrum.

There were large stretches of the road where we were the only vehicles and while the weather wasn’t kind on the Saturday, by the time Sunday evening came around, the winds had chased off all the dark clouds and the sun made an appearance as we sat outside the FBI (Ferry Boat Inn, geddit?) in Ullapool drinking beers and wine.

Sandy next to the Caledonian Canal

I set my Highland books in a fictional village, but it is part-based on Strathcarron, which is at the head of the sea loch Loch Carron in Wester Ross, describing my village as one long main street beside a loch, a hotel at either end, and I’m almost disappointed when I pass through these places and don’t see the fictional characters I created—Gaby pushing a pram, Mhari spying on her fellow villagers, Lachlan up to no good, and the red-headed Jack, attracting everyone’s wide-eyed attention.

Strathcarron is just before the Bealach na Bà pass (pass of the cattle in Gaelic). The latter is something of a mecca for motorcyclists. It winds its way through the mountains of the Applecross Peninsula, offering breath-taking vistas of rugged landscapes, towering peaks, and deep valleys.

The road ascends to a height of 626 meters, providing awe-inspiring panoramas of the surrounding countryside and the nearby Isle of Skye, although on the day we did it, there was a lot of over-hanging cloud.

I was glad of that sometimes. The steep gradients and hairpin bends make you gulp and in parts, you find your mind screaming, Don’t look down!

Dutch yachts negotiating Neptune’s Staircase

While staying in Banavie, we witnessed two yachts negotiating Neptune’s Staircase on the Caledonian Canal, a waterway that stretches from Inverness to Corpach, near Fort William, connecting Scotland’s east and west coasts, and designed by Thomas Telford.

The locks at Banavie are a prominent feature of the Caledonian Canal. They consist of eight interconnected locks that raise or lower vessels a total of 19 meters over a distance of 457 meters.

It is an impressive engineering feat and allows boats and vessels to navigate the height difference in the canal, making it possible for them to travel between Loch Lochy and Loch Linnhe (though it takes forever for them to get through it).

Returning home on the Monday, we drove through Glencoe. I’ve done it plenty of times, but the Monday was the first time it had ever stayed dry and while there were plenty of tourists—other bikes, coach parties and walkers/climbers—from my pillion position, I was able to stare at the towering mountains and the cascading waterfalls and imagine them in the millennia before the advent of people.

My favourite meals of the trip were what we ate in Ullapool. The coastal village is surrounded by rolling hills and mountains and the waters of Loch Broom. Wherever you stay, there are scenic views of the harbour and the nearby Summer Isles archipelago.

It is an active fishing port, and this is reflected in what the village’s pubs, restaurants and cafes offer. My travelling companions raved about the fish and chips on offer in the Seaforth Bar, while I tucked into the vegan fish fillets, mushy peas and chips.

(And paid the price later. As a type 1 diabetic, I follow a low-carb diet to help with blood sugar control, and the vegan fish fillets and chips is carb overload.)

On the Monday morning, we found a tiny café, The Bothy, doing a roaring trade in breakfasts, thanks to the caravan park nearby. Two scrambled egg rolls, one bacon roll and a full Scottish breakfast later, we were back off down south, replete, refreshed and determined to make the trip an annual event.

The photos above do not do the trip justice, mainly because I’m a terrible photographer but also because the experience and the scenery demanded full attention, and when I take photographs, the process removes me from the immediacy of the moment.

But I sincerely hope this has inspired you to visit these locations and experience the splendour of the Highlands for yourself if you’ve not already done so.

My cat-sitter took this rather splendid picture of the cat while we were away; the cat hates it when her door slave isn’t available 24 hours a day to let her in and out.
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Artists Town – free book promotion

Nostalgic for the 90s, when Kate Moss reigned supreme, the mobile phone was something only self-important eejits owned, and most of the world did not use the internet?

Here’s where I come in…

Artists Town, my coming-of-age novel, is currently part of a free book promotion at Hello Books. Here’s the blurb…

First love—it will change your life for ever…

Daisy has been dragged along on a family holiday against her will. Still, the holiday has its compensations. Katrina, the resident ‘cool’ girl who takes Daisy under her wing, and her gorgeous, older cousin who sends smouldering looks in Daisy’s direction.

Is this holiday about to change her life for the better?

The escape from London has affected Daisy’s dad. He has madcap schemes in mind for how he’s going to invest in the town’s small businesses and improve them. But where is all the money for this coming from?

Daisy finds love, a close friendship and freedom in her new life but the secrets that lie buried there are about to surface, and their revelation will be explosive and life-changing.

Set in the early 1990s, Artists Town is a heart-warming coming of age tale that explores friendship, first love, learning to be cool and navigating life’s challenges. Featuring relatable, engaging characters and situations, the story will suit anyone who remembers growing up in the 1990s in the days before mobile phones and social media, those with a fondness for small-town life and those who like love stories with a twist.

Here’s what the reviews said:

“This is such a great story, full of real characters who I could really picture in my head, I felt like I knew all these people by the end if the book, and I’m desperate to know ‘what happened next’, which I don’t get too often.”

“Took me only 3 nights to start & finish this book. I absolutely loved it. Took me back to my teens, it was funny, uplifting, and also very sad.”

“YA Fiction at its finest and COMPULSORY for diabetic teens’ parents.”

You can get the book here:

And here’s the link for Hello Books if you would like to sign up for free e-books in other genres:

Boats, book groups and brilliant days out

Last weekend, the coronation took place in the UK, but there was only one queen as far as the Weegie Beegies were concerned…

(She’s even got her crown on, as you can see in the picture above.)

The Weegie Beegies is the jokey name for the book group I have belonged to for the past twenty years. The name, for those of you unfamiliar with Scottish patter, comes from the informal term for a Glaswegian—weegie—and beegie plays on the book group initials.

Last year, discussions were held about a celebration event marking the 20-year anniversary, and a boat/barge trip was mooted, but did not happen for various reasons.

Navvies Barge

We finally got round to it on 6 May, the date close to one member’s birthday, and what a memorable afternoon it was. If you’re looking for something different to do in Glasgow, I can’t recommend a trip on the Navvies’ Barge highly enough.

The canal boat is located on the Glasgow section of the Forth and Clyde Canal and offers boat trips for up to 12 people (our party consisted of eight) and involves a peaceful two and a half hour meander along the canal.

The 35-mile long Forth and Clyde Canal is a fascinating piece of Scottish history. It crosses central Scotland from the Firth of Forth to the Firth of Clyde, and opened in 1790, the first canal in Scotland and the largest engineering project at the time.

Transporting good and passengers

It allowed seagoing vessels to travel between Edinburgh and Glasgow and facilitated the transport of goods and passengers across the country. When the railways and roads came in, its use declined and it was closed to traffic in the 1960s, reopening in 2001 thanks to funding from the Millennium Commission and is now managed by Scottish Canals.

The name of the boat is in tribute to the navvies—the manual workers who undertook the brutal work of building canals and railways and died in their thousands because railway engineers like Brunel resisted any efforts to provide workers with adequate sanitation or safe working conditions.

Profits generated from Navvies’ Barge are reinvested or used to support charitable causes and community engagement with the barge and the canal.

The bespoke book-themed cake was made by the very talented daughter of one of our group.

We brought our own food and booze. It rained for first half of the journey and the sun came out for the second, allowing us all to sit out on the back.

Reader, a lot of Prosecco was consumed. There was a sing-along too. Those Gen Zs jogging or dog-walking on the tow paths might have been tempted to film us and upload the result onto TikTok, captioning the clip Why Middle-Aged Women Should Not Be Allowed Within a Mile of Wine…

All in all, it was a brilliant afternoon out.

PS – if I’ve tickled your tastebuds for Scottish life, I have a series of romcoms set in the Scottish Highlands and available on Amazon, Apple Books, Kobo, Barnes and Noble et al…

Bestsellers, experiments and print book satisfaction

There is something very satisfying about owning a physical copy of your own book—a LOOK WHAT I DID moment that never comes from staring at a thumbnail of the cover on a screen.

Draft2Digital recently launched a super-easy and free print service for indie authors, so I’ve created paperbacks for the remainder of the Highland Books series, which had previously only been available in e-book form, and two of them were delivered this week.

Although the proof copies I ordered are not as pretty as the custom-made ones I have for Highland Fling and Highland Heart, the interior I formatted using Atticus software is just as good, if not better.

Because we don’t have the purchasing power of big publishers or the economies of scale, indie authors like me can’t sell paperbacks cheaply, so our print novels must be priced in the region of £12-£15, if not more, which is why most of our sales are e-books (95 per cent for me in April so far, which is about standard).

But when one kindly soul emailed me the other week asking whether there were print versions of the other Highland Books because she had enjoyed the first three so much, that spurred me on.

I live for those comments…

I still need to create and order copies of two of my other Highland Books, so that I can add them to my vanity book shelf, which is pictured below.

What I’ve read recently

As I raced through two books that I took out of the library this week, I’ll plug them here: Matt Haig’s How to Stop Time, and Rose Tremain’s Lily.

The first book’s premise was intriguing—a historical fantasy about a man who has been alive for centuries—and I borrowed the second because I remembered how much I enjoyed Restoration by the same author.

Reading is a personal and subjective experience, but both books have sold plenty of copies, so what makes them so popular?

I’m about to embark on rewriting one of my books with the lofty goal of trying to create a best-seller (more on that later), so I’m analysing everything I read right now, trying to figure out what makes it resonate with so many people.

(This, incidentally, doesn’t detract from my enjoyment of reading.)

Here are my thoughts on How to Stop Time and Lily:

  • They are page-turners (both professional and Amazon reviewers agree on this). Short chapters, with a hook at the end of each and plenty of tension (i.e. a sense of something bad about to happen).
  • They are immersive—on the pages, the worlds of Elizabethan London (How to Stop Time) and Victorian London (Lily) come to life.
  • Because the main characters evoke our sympathies, we’re rooting* for them to find happiness/succeed.
  • The character’s actions make us wonder what we would do in similar situations.

*For my Australian readers, I know this word has a different meaning in your country… 😉

What I’ve watched (spoilers ahead!)

We came to The Last of Us a bit later than the rest of Western Civilisation, but once there, it took us less than a week to binge through the nine episodes, me occasionally with my fingers in ears, a habit that dates back to when I was a child and the Daleks appeared on Doctor Who.

Again, I’ve been attempting to analyse what made the series so popular:

  • Pedro Pascale. (I’ll leave that there… feel free to disagree and I’ll fight you in the comments).
  • The character arcs, particularly Joel’s, who goes from hardened, cynical mercenary to someone who will fight tooth and nail for Ellie, and Bill’s, who moves from survivalist loner to compassionate carer in episode three.
  • Ellie’s kick-assed-ness.
  • An ensemble cast—it keeps things interesting by flitting between a variety of characters and their backstories.
  • The tension is there in bucketloads because you’re on the edge of your seat the entire time waiting for something horrible to happen.
  • The focus on humanity and their adaptability to the reality in which they find themselves, rather than the infected, prompts the viewer to ask themselves, “What would I do under those circumstances?”
  • Re the above bullet—the ending. Was Joel right to save Ellie at the expense of humanity? And would Ellie have been able to provide the cure anyway…?
  • And finally, the giraffes. Just because.
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

The How to Write a Bestseller Experiment

Where to go from here… I’m in the middle of an existential writing crisis.

I muddle along, writing fiction that doesn’t sell enough to recoup the money I spend on covers, critiques, proofreading, etcetera.

There has been a lot of talk about Substack and its benefits for writers, with famous names (Salman Rushdie) publishing novels on there, not as famous names serialising their books and becoming success stories (Elle Griffin) while others treat audiences to their amazing insights and wisdom (Dominic Cummings*).

[*That was sarcasm, by the way.]

I’ve been blogging on and off for 12 years now and have never really got the hang of what to write about/how to position this blog. If I was starting now, I would do things very differently.

Substack is supposed to make it easier for you to monetise your content, providing you can persuade enough people that is worth paying for. That’s a big ‘if’, though.

As a writer of only middling success, I don’t want to publish a novel on there but I came up with the idea of a regular newsletter—the How to Write a Bestseller Experiment, where I embark on a mission to produce one and document what I do.

It would focus on craft—turning the first draft of a book I’ve already written in a popular genre (crime/thriller) into something that is page-turning, gripping and enjoyable—and building a ‘platform’.

I know, horrible, horrible word but it does seem as if you make life easier for yourself if you build anticipation and then launch your book, rather than the other way around, as every celebrity who gets a book deal can tell you.

I’m very much a LOOK, THE SHINY NEW! type of person, forever jumping on bandwagons, convinced the next big thing will work for me. Only for it not to.

But to use the old cliché, it is better to try and fail than not to try at all.

Wish me luck! And if anyone reading this is on Substack, let me know in the comments and tell me about your experiences there. Thank you!

A weekend in Stirling

Here’s a fun fact for you… I share the same birthday, 17 March, with King James IV of Scotland. This was news to me, something Sandy and I discovered over the weekend while staying in Stirling for a couple of nights.

We are members of Historic Environment Scotland, which cares for Stirling Castle, so we paid the castle another visit. Whisper it… Stirling Castle is far superior to Edinburgh Castle in my opinion. For one thing, it doesn’t get the same volume of visitors. Second, the history behind it is absolutely fascinating, and it is more aesthetically appealing.

Anyway, the point of our stay in Stirling was to have a mini-break for my birthday, and when we arrived at Stirling Castle on Sunday, Historic Environment Scotland had put on special festivities commemorating the 550th anniversary of the king’s birth.

Bonus!

James IV is recognised as the most successful of the Stewart monarchs (albeit this is not particularly high bar–two Stewarts managed to get their heads cut off, another was forced to abdicate after only three years on the throne). He was in charge of a significant expansion of the Scottish royal navy, included the founding of two royal dockyards and the acquisition or building of 38 ships.

He was an avid supporter of the arts and was interested in the law, literature and science, even dabbling with dentistry and bloodletting. With his patronage, the printing press arrived in Scotland, and the Royal College of Surgeons of Edinburgh and the University of Aberdeen were founded.

Education act

He oversaw the construction of the Palace of Holyroodhouse and Falkland Palace, as well as substantial work at Linlithgow Palace, Edinburgh Castle and Stirling Castle. The education act passed by the Scottish Parliament in 1496 introduced compulsory schooling.

At Stirling Castle, we watched a musket demonstration. Turns out there are a lot of sayings that originate from late Medieval musket use—a flash in the pan and scraping the bottom of the barrel being two of them.

The James IV castle tour revealed he was only 15 years old when he ascended to the throne, having fought his father, James III, to claim it. Medieval Scottish rulers tended not to live long, happy lives and James IV himself died in battle, during the disastrous Battle of Flodden in 1513, in which some 10,000 Scots were killed. 

Renovations

Nowadays, the castle’s great hall has been renovated and the exterior painted with ochre-coloured limestone to resemble what it would have looked like the early 16th century. The royal apartment has also been designed to resemble what it would have looked like it did in those days, and two restoration projects have restored the Stirling heads, wooden carvings of James V’s family members and the local nobility that he commissioned to show off to the world his right to rule, and a recreation of a 15th century tapestry, The Hunt of the Unicorn.

Both projects, which used 15th century techniques, colour palettes and materials, are quite something to see.

The views from the castle are spectacular and it is easy to understand why our ancestors picked Castle Hill for a fortification.

We stayed at The Allan Park, a B&B that is also serves as a pub and restaurant. Blimey, the breakfasts… the Eggs Florentine (poached eggs on a muffin with spinach, mushrooms and Hollandaise sauce) reminded me yet again why the egg is the most magnificent food stuff known to humankind, while the vegetarian fry-up included veggie haggis too, a very nice touch.

We ate out on the Saturday night and Sunday afternoon, returning to The Allan Park on Sunday evening for another delicious meal, and where the waitress asked me if I was a Mum, winking when I said no, and suggesting I change my answer because they were offering free glasses of Prosecco to all mothers in honour of Mother’s Day in the UK.

(Do fur babies qualify?)

When it came to finding people to land on, the travel bug gave me a wide swerve. Mini-breaks in the UK are far and away my favourite type of holiday. Castles and museums, pubs and restaurants, not too far to travel and with a much lower carbon footprint than flying…

Our next holiday is the Peak District in the summer, and I can’t wait.

Baked with Love – out today

Baked with Love is out today

I based it loosely on the Great British Bake Off show. Years ago, the programme’s hosts were Sue Perkins and Mel Giedroyc, who were notorious for their dreadful baking puns and sly innuendo.

To give you a flavour of the book, here are some of the ones I came up with for my book. Don’t groan too much…

Sue, fluffy pink jumper clashing with her bright orange hair, stepped forward, beaming at us. “Welcome, contestants, to this year’s Best Baker UK! Why was the ninja so good at baking pastries?

“Because he had a black belt in martial tarts, of course.”

a picture of a strawberry tart
A strawberry tart
a heap of pistachio nuts

Kimberly and Sue cosied up to Rob as he chopped up a large handful of pistachios, tiny flecks of green flying off the chopping board. “Ooh,” Kimberly said. “I do love a chunky nut or two, don’t you, Sue?”

Sue, straight-faced, shook her head. “Nuts ground to a paste are my preference.”

Playing along

Kimberly and Sue rocked up at my bench. Sue picked up a sausage, letting it dangle from her fingers. “Ooh, I love a sausage early in the morning!”

Sue’s joke might be the most obvious one in the entire world, but I played along. “Absolutely, Sue. The bigger the better too, eh?”

“No, no, no,” Kimberly chimed in. No-one but me could see the tightness in Sue’s jaw as she waited for the reply. “The size of the sausage isn’t important. It’s what you do with it that counts.”

She tipped her head in Rob’s direction. To the left, a camera zoomed in on him.

Bread, bread, bread

As I kneaded the dough, punching into it, Kimberly glided up. “Woo, Lissie!” she exclaimed, helping herself to the sultanas piled up in a bowl. “Are you imagining a certain someone when you hit that bread?”

She added an exaggerated wink, directing her head to Rob’s bench.

Deciding that I might as well give Graham what he wanted, I thumped the dough harder for effect. “Not at all, Kimberly. Though it feels therapeutic. Do you want to try?”

“Oh, yes!” she said, digging her knuckles into the dough I handed over. “It’s the yeast I can do.”

“Amazon keeps sending me Rich Tea biscuits even though I don’t like them,” Kimberly said, picking up the tin of condensed milk on my bench.

Spending so much time with them in person meant you could anticipate the jokes.

“But everything’s okay now,” I replied, retrieving a tin opener from the utensil drawer under my bench. “As you’ve updated your cookies preference, right?”

She high-fived me; the move caught on camera. “Ha! Lissie, you should replace Sue. You’re much better at this than she is.”

Sorry about that! If you’d like to buy the book, you can do so by clicking on the button below.

Location, location, location

Some years back, I went the book launch of Stonemouth, written by the late (and extremely great) Iain Banks, where he admitted he made up the town where the novel is situated because he despised doing research.

That little titbit lodged in my subconscious, as I did the same a few years later when I wrote Artists Town and the Highland Books.

If you create a fictional town or village, there’s no need to worry about confusing the site of the town hall with the derelict church or placing two streets close together for narrative purposes (and risking a chorus of criticism in the reviews from the town/village’s real inhabitants).

Nor need you fret about people from those places presuming you’ve used them somewhere in the novel and portrayed them in an unfavourable light. The author Brooke Magnanti at another book event I attended stated that she made up the setting for her crime thriller, The Turning Tide, so as not to offend her Lochaber neighbours.

Artists Town, a coming-of-age tale set in a small Scottish town, was inspired by Kirkcudbright, the small Scottish town where I spent my formative years.

Picture of Emma Baird sitting next to a street sign for Baird Way in Kirkcudbright
Once upon a time, Kirkcudbright had a creamery. When it was demolished, the council built social housing in its place, and named one of the streets, Baird Street, in honour of one of the creamery’s founders, my grandfather.

Let me let you into the secret of Kirkcudbright’s pronunciation. Those of us born in this tiny town nestled far from the madding crowds in the south-west of Scotland grew up chortling whenever the rare occasion of it meriting a mention on the national news arose and presenters mispronounced it Cur-cud-bright, when it’s—clearly—Cur-coo-bree.

Other Scottish place name minefields include Milngavie, pronounced Mull-guy, Strathaven, pronounced Stray-ven and Bearsden, pronounced Brendan.

(Kidding, Bearsden is pronounced exactly as it is written.)

Like Brooke Magnanti, I didn’t want to offend the locals, so I changed the name Kirkcudbright in the book to Kirkinwall. But because Kirkcudbright is one of the few places in the UK with a castle in the midst of it, any locals reading it will recognise the location straight away.

 © Copyright Colin Smith and licensed for reuse under this Creative Commons Licence.

Mackies Fish and Chips plays a key role in Artists Town, and I based the establishment loosely on a sadly no-longer there chippie, Polar Bites, which had an excellent (and well deserved) reputation for its take on the UK’s favourite dish.

Since I couldn’t find a picture of the now defunct Polar Bites, I’ve treated you instead to a drool-worthy pic…

The Highland books, a series of romantic comedies/feel-good escapist novels, are set in the imaginary village of Lochalshie, which is a loose mix of Arrochar in Argyll and Bute, and Lochcarron in Wester Ross.

Lochcarron © Copyright Toby Speight and licensed for reuse under this Creative Commons Licence.

The Lochside Welcome, the local pub/hotel, is an important setting in the books and it resembles the Village Inn in Arrochar, appearance-wise, anyway. As far as I’m aware, it’s never played hosted the wedding of a reality TV star—also made-up—but given that she’s a member of a family who’ve been on MTV for many years and a ‘self-made’ billionaire whose fortune comes from a make-up and skincare company, there is no prize for guessing who she’s modelled on.

© Copyright Jim Barton and licensed for reuse under this Creative Commons Licence.
Book cover for Highland Wedding by Emma Baird
What the Village Inn looks like in my books.

When you set your novels in bigger towns and cities, it´s okay to go with the real version, and I´ve used Glasgow, London, Norwich and even Great Yarmouth in my books, but small town settings will always be my preferred choice because it´s much easier to create a sense of community, which is why books and TV series set in smaller places appeal to so many people.

You can buy Artists Town and the Highland Books directly from the Pink Glitter Publishing store here.

The robots are coming for our jobs…

A robot writing
A robot writing – an AI-generated image

Recently, there has been a lot of talk on the internet regarding AI and its usage in the creative professions, including fears that robots will take over the fun stuff, concerns that students will use it to cheat by creating essays, worries about plagiarism, the ethics of attribution, and more.

The founding editor of Clarkesworld sci-fi magazine this week reported a huge spike in the submission of AI-written short stories. The magazine received more than 500 submissions flagged for plagiarism in the first 20 days of February, alone, when typically it receives fewer than 30 such submissions a month.

The rise coincides with the launch of ChatGPT in November 2022.

‘Easy money using ChatGPT’

As a result, Clarkesworld has closed its short story submissions. The magazine typically pays 12 cents per word, and Neil Clarke, the magazine’s editor has attributed the problem to people outside the SF/F community driven by “side hustle experts” making claims of easy money using ChatGPT.

I signed up for the ChatGPT research release because a writers’ forum I belong to mentioned its uses as a research tool, with the caveats that it’s not fool-proof, and its knowledge cut-off is September 2021.

Can ChatGPT replace human writers, I asked, and this was the reply:

As an AI language model, I am capable of generating text on a wide variety of topics, and I can produce content that is grammatically correct and coherent. However, while I can create text that mimics human writing to a certain extent, I cannot completely replace human writers.

Human writers bring their unique perspectives, experiences, and creativity to their writing, and they are capable of producing content that is emotionally resonant, thought-provoking, and insightful in ways that AI language models like myself cannot replicate. Human writers also have the ability to adapt their writing to different audiences and contexts, to inject humor, irony, and other forms of figurative language, and to use language in ways that are not strictly logical or predictable.

The first person pronoun use is already an attempt to ‘humanise’ and make the tool less threatening, which feels inappropriate. I fed that back to the system and received a polite reply, thanking me for bringing the matter to its attention, apologising for any confusion, and that it was more appropriate to use third person pronouns (the inanimate ‘it’) when referring to “AI language models like myself”.

The second paragraph of the answer used the first person pronouns throughout. Maybe I should have made that clearer—don’t use first person pronouns when interacting with me—but it felt a bit… rude, proving the humanising point.

Awe-inspiring poetry (or not)

In the interests of research*, I also tried a tool for generating poetry. It isn’t particularly sophisticated as the example generated when I asked for a haiku for my husband telling him I love him shows.

Love that grows so deep
Your touch so tender and true
Forever I love you

The greetings card industry might welcome it; the various poetry blogs I follow have nothing to fear (yet).

The observant among you may have noticed that WordPress now offers AI-generated paragraphs and art. The picture at the top of this blog is one example, as is the one below because I couldn’t resist asking for an image of a cat reading.

The image below that is what happened when I asked for a Vector image of a handsome red-headed man wearing a kilt. I leave it up to you to decide whether the picture it produced fulfils that brief…

A hyper realistic picture of a cat reading a book
A hyper realistic picture of a cat reading a book
A Vector image of a handsome, red-haired man wearing a kilt
A Vector image of a handsome, red-haired man wearing a kilt

For some weeks now I’ve been using Quillbot, a paraphrasing tool, to copy edit my fiction. I used it to rewrite the first paragraph at the top of this blog, and you can see that I rejected some of the suggestions:

While I have the system set to British English, it still generates Americanisms, such as suggesting I use ‘line’ rather than queue or describing someone as a basketball fan, when I said the character was a Hoops fan meaning Celtic FC, and the trunk of a car, rather than the boot.

Would I use Quillbot to replace a human copy-editor/proofreader? No. But I rewrite sentences myself now, guessing that Quillbot will reorder them, and the thesaurus element is a God-send.

AI for fiction research

As mentioned, the idea of using ChatGPT to carry out research related to my fiction appealed, so the first question I asked was, “how can you tell if someone has shot themselves or been murdered?” relating to a detective novel I’m currently writing.

The 300-word reply contained enough detail for my scene, where the amateur detective’s suspicions that his nephew did not take his own life are proved correct, to sound ‘authentic’, though an actual police officer/forensics expert might not agree.

It’s a vastly-sped-up version of using search engines and trawling through the results.

Writers worry about where all this is heading, myself included. There are so many potential pitfalls, ones I’m aware of, others I don’t have the imagination or intellect to come up with. ChatGPT says it can be used to generate drafts, as the final paragraph of the answer the AI tool gave me when I asked if it could replace human writers:

That being said, I can certainly be a helpful tool for writers and content creators, and I can be used to generate ideas, provide inspiration, or even generate drafts that can be refined and polished by human writers. Ultimately, I believe that the most effective approach to writing involves a collaboration between humans and AI, where the strengths of both are leveraged to create the best possible content.

There are writers out there who can produce genre fiction incredibly quickly–there’s the odd writer who can write a first draft of a novel in a few weeks–whereas ChatGPT could do it in minutes.

Does that mean that people writing popular crime, romance, thriller fiction with its clear, recognisable tropes could be out of a job, or will they still make as much money refining or editing the AI draft?

Will they still enjoy the endeavour as much? Will people want to read these books? There are already books on Amazon marked as co-created with AI.

Change is a’comin’

Whether we like it or not, the changes are here already and the only thing threatening them is potential power outtages in the future where people decide their electricity rations are best used for heating/cooking/lighting (electricity rationing will and has to happen if we are to stand any chance of passing the world on to future generations) rather than powering up AI systems.

When I set out to write this, part of me was tempted to use ChatGPT and/or WordPress’s AI paragraphs generator to come up with almost all of the blog, as the topic’s so vast and complex. I knew I would ramble, I wouldn’t come to any definite conclusions, offer stunning insights or do anything other than state the bleedin’ obvious.

The blog has taken me almost four hours to write, and a lot of mulling over in between.

But the creative drive’s a powerful one. There are so many of us who will always want to write (even vapid, self-indulgent and not particularly interesting blogs like this one), draw, paint, make music, act, sculpt, screen-write and much more, and hopefully, all fingers and toes crossed, human creative endeavours will always find an audience.

*also known as procrastination, a skill in which I excel.

Food in books

The Bakewell tart was made by my own fair hand for a party. Retro dishes can be very popular…

My latest novel, Baked with Love, is now available for pre-order. The book features a fictionalised version of a well-known and loved baking show, so there are a lot of descriptions of cakes in it.

In general, there are a lot of descriptions of all kinds of foods in all my books, reflecting my other passions in life, cooking and eating. If I were any good at food styling and photography and filming, I’d run a food blog for sure. I toyed with the idea at one point and came up with the snappy (not) title, Emma Cooks the Books! along with fancy-schmancy graphics too, see above.

Anyway, as that did not happen (food blogs and vlogs look like a tonne of work – and many of them take place in immaculate kitchens, using state-of-the-art equipment that seems as if it’s being used for the first time), I’ve rounded up a collection of foodie pics and quotes from my books…

Highland Fling by Emma Baird book cover
Highland Fling – a romcom set in the Scottish Highlands.
High Heels and Pink Glitter cover by Emma Baird
High Heels and Pink Glitter – a chick lit novel available to read for free on Wattpad. I would love to claim credit for this beautiful chocolate cake, but my sister made it…
Highland Wedding by Emma Baird book cover
Highland Wedding – a romcom set in the Scottish Highlands.
A Leap of Faith by Emma Baird book cover
A Leap of Faith – a Covid-19 lockdown love story.
Beautiful Fighters by Emma Baird book cover
Beautiful Fighters – a NA vampire novel.
Beautiful Biters by Emma Baird book cover
Beautiful Biters – a NA vampire story. I made the carrot cake and decorated it, using my mum’s tried and tested fork method (lines across and then down).
Highland Chances – a light-hearted, feel-good book set in the Scottish Highlands.

Sally Wainwright – we are not worthy…

What I’m watching (no spoilers!)

Well… the end of Happy Valley! What did you think?

The series writer Sally Wainwright receives a lot of well-deserved praise for her depiction of strong female characters, her ability to create conflict and ramp up tension and her characterisation and dialogue (“I might have singed one of your crochet blankets”).

I would be grateful for teeny-tiny percentage of her writing talent.

Oh, and did you know that George Costigan (Happy Valley’s Nev Gallagher) and Siobhan Finneran (Clare Cartwright) have acted together before? In a certain 80s comedy-drama also set in the north.

Click the button below if you want to see the NSFW clip.

What version of WordPress do you use?

Do you use the premium or business versions of WordPress, and what are the benefits and drawbacks?

Many of you who are reading this are also bloggers. I use WordPress’s bog-standard free version because it meets the majority of my needs, however I pay an annual price for the domain name.

WordPress for business is expensive—£240 per year (about $292)—for a lot of features I won’t use or need, though signing up for some of the premium services would also mean that the adverts and WordPress branding would be removed, giving the site a more professional appearance. I can also upload videos directly if I want to.

If I want to sell books straight from this site, which I do, the only option via WordPress is the business because you can install the required plug-in.

For the time being, I can link folks to my Payhip store, but best practise dictates that if you’re attempting to sell something online, you should make the transaction as simple as possible, i.e. one click.

Amazon will always account for most of my sales. Will this site generate £240 in book sales per year? Doubtful…

What WordPress version do you use? What would you want for your website if you could buy individual components rather than having them all grouped together in a plan?

Baked with Love

My latest book—Baked with Love—is now available for pre-order! Here’s the blurb…

Can lifelong baker Lissie turn down a last-minute invitation to appear on the popular TV show Best Baker UK, even though her ex-boyfriend is one of the contestants?

Not a chance…

Her current boyfriend isn’t thrilled, and Lissie’s decision to put herself under the intense pressure of a reality TV show while spending so much time with the man who broke her heart six years ago appears to be a recipe for disaster…

But could Lissie uncover the truth about what happened all those years ago, prove herself to her grandmother, keep her boyfriend happy, and win Best Baker UK, forever changing her life?

A spellbinding, warm-hearted read for romance and Great British Bake Off junkies, Baked with Love is a thoughtful, unforgettable story with characters you will love about second chances, forgiveness, and the search for true love.

You can read a short extract from the book here.