Builder Etiquette, Mini-Eggs and Stupid Things You Do In January

This week, I’m…

Admiring my cat’s ability to get comfortable everywhere. We’ve got the builders in and the house is covered in scaffolding. A nice sunny day and a bird’s eye view over the surrounding gardens? I’ll take that, he said.

Pondering builder etiquette. How many cups of teas and coffees do I offer? One in the morning, one in the afternoon? Should the tea be dead strong, as builder mythology suggests? And biscuits? Do Marks & Spencer’s salted caramel teacakes spur them on to finish more quickly than a bog standard Rich Tea?

And what, in the name of everything, is acceptable re the loo? I don’t know where they’re going to the toilet. This haunts me. Do I offer ours? You know what I’m going to say next. “Chaps! Please, use our toilet. But not, you know, for a number two…”

Watching The Frankenstein Chronicles. Seriously creepy, but seriously good! I do love finding a series to watch twelve nights in a row.

Wishing I hadn’t impulsively entered the Glasgow half-marathon. Seemed like a cool idea in January. When it was eight months away. February and StormEmma happened. Then I got a bad cold and ended up in hospital. The regular as clockwork runs stopped.

Plus, running for two hours?! I don’t mind pounding the pavements for half an hour or so. After that, not so much. Ah well. I can always walk it.

Persuading my pelvis to tilt back and forth. I do love a Pilates class or two, but isolating your pelvis is a tricky move. Seriously. You try it. Bodes well for my old lady future, tho’.

Gearing up for a family gathering. We’ll be marking Easter at my sister’s home in Edinburgh. EB and other half, siblings one and two, their husbands and kids, my mum, her partner and his daughter. A big roast* and a tonne of chocolate will feature. There’ll be a mini-eggs hunt post-lunch. And I’m warning you kids. I will win this. You don’t get concessions just because you’re young and wee**.

Googling things to do in Crete. At some point, hopefully soon, I’ll go outside and be warm. In the meantime, I fast-forward myself to October and imagine cloud-free blue skies, turquoise waters and the sun shimmering above me.

 

 

*Fingers crossed for lamb! But buying lamb to feed fifteen would bankrupt you.

**Actually, all but two of them are now bigger than me.

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Artistic Pretensions, Moi?

Fate festooned me with many blessings.

I was born in the western world – hunger, financial hardship and violent war haven’t been anything I have ever experienced. I was born to parents who absolutely adored my sisters and I and distributed love, money and time with largesse. I keep good health, as do most of those around me, and I have met with many wonderful people I am lucky enough to call friends.

Plus, all the things I like – cats, books, wine, good food and company – are all readily available to me on a weekly basis. Joy!

Before this gets a little too sickly, do know that there is something I still hanker for, even though it seems a might ungrateful.

I wish I had artistic abilities…

I’ve been thinking about this a lot of late and how this might apply to a budget wedding. If I was artistically inclined, for instance, I would find flowers at wholesale and create my own beautiful table decorations. A friend recently commented that I could make my own favours for my wedding using the colour theme and I thought to myself: “blimey, a colour scheme, I never even thought of that!”. See, she has aesthetic sensibilities (her flat is decorated par excellence) and I’m 300 light years away from even getting a ‘c’ grade in school level art.

This is the before version - not yet cooked

The extent of my artistic ability; home-made pizza with careful basil leaf arrangement

Let’s take decorating my own cake, say. (Determined to make my own cake – that bit doesn’t require too much in terms of an imaginative eye, just patience and the ability to measure properly.) I picked up a book recently: The Busy Girl’s Guide to Cake Decorating – and perhaps this is the answer to the non-artistic person’s desire for creativity.

The Busy Girl (aka Ruth Clemens) suggests lovely ideas such as butterfly biscuits – you make them using cutters. Foolproof surely, even for the Pictionary dunce that I am. Then, you get smaller cutters and stamp out sugar paste before giving it a light dusting of powder and glitter and then placing on top of the biscuits. So, quite simple and possibly a favour idea…?

Ms Clemens is self-taught and her cake decorating ideas look relatively simple – so long as you can perfect that covering cakes with sugarpaste/marzipan technique. [It’s a lot flamin’ harder than it looks – smoothness is your goal, lumpiness, air bubbles, cracks et al are often the reality.]

In my ideal world*, I’d be sticking flower stems into chunks of oasis (no, not the band, but this weird, green & spongy stuff you use in flower arrangement), throwing colour co-ordinated scarves elegantly over my shoulder, and using a mixture of icing sugar, egg white and colouring to create some moulded sculpture sitting atop of cake guaranteed to make guests go “mmm” and “ahhh”.

But surrendering the ego – who but me will care that the cake is home-made? Who but me will be bothered by the fact that the favours have been out-sourced? Who but me will remark that the floral decorations weren’t created in-house (so to speak)?

Aye, no one!

 

 

*I’d also have upgraded to the design pro bit of WordPress! I could have my own fonts! I could juggle around text boxes (I think) and upload videos! Er… these might be limited to cookery demonstrations so posibly, dear reader, you aren’t missing out.