For Want of Witty Wedding Words


Och, where’s the muse when you want her? She’s sadly not been at my beck and call the last week or so.

I kept trying to think up wedding-related topics and the wise, witty words that might accompany them. I came up with… a big, fat nothing. Woe! I also got caught up in a great book* and the priority of my free time was reading. The minutes left after that I felt I should devote to my fiancé to maintain harmonious domestic relations and ensure there WILL indeed be a wedding in May of next year.

The muse still isn’t in the nearby vicinity so I thought I’d post a rather prosaic progress update.

Venue: booked and non-refundable** deposit paid (New Lanark Mill Hotel).

Registrar: booked and non-refundable deposit paid.

Photographer: booked and non-refundable deposit paid (James Solly Photography).

Dress: no. Do I need to panic about this? I just tend to change my mind a lot and thought if I bought something too early, I’d see at least 10 better options after that.

Guest list: drawn up with my fiancé after we’d had a glass or two of wine (we were filled with bonhomie). Still needs finalised and er… possibly edited. Other names keep drifting in and out of my consciousness, accompanied by an internal shriek of alarm.

Invites: my talented brother-in-law (he created the lovely header above) is kindly doing these for me. I’m emailing them out to save money.

Wedding cake: I’m making this myself. The logistics of this exercise are beginning to bother me, though. How will I transport it, how will I decorate it, if I make it too far in advance will it go mouldy and give my guests food poisoning, when will I make it so that I’m not decorating the b*****y thing the night before I get married? Perhaps best to stick to the cheese cake idea (literally, a ‘cake’ made from rounds of cheese; the Atkins solution to wedding cake).

There is progress of sorts on other things – diet coke desertion. I used to drink two litres of the stuff every day. I stopped drinking it for just over two weeks, then caved and am now drinking one bottle a day. Oh, it’s such a lovely, lovely treat…

Reducing resting heart beat rate to 60 per minute (bid to do lots of cardio and be slimline bride). I just counted it; 72Bpm – after many spin classes and many circuit classes (and a few tears). A wee bit of work still needed on this then!


*Diana Gabaldon: The Voyager. I love it when you discover a writer you love and then find out that they are prolific.

**Something very, very scary about the words ‘non-refundable deposit’.

Cinderella Missing a Glass Slipper?


Katie Holmes can now wear heels this height

Does anyone else build their outfit from the shoes up? With a wedding dress, in most cases this might seem pointless as the shoes won’t be visible under acreages of tulle and satin sinking to the floor.

But as any shoe freak will agree – that really isn’t the point. When you’re wearing kickass shoes, you move and stand differently (as any chiropractor will warn against). In an interview, Sarah Jessica Parker once said she put heels on for head and shoulder shots and that snippet of info has stayed with me for years.

Oh – and when you’re 5ft 2” marrying someone who’s a foot taller than you, a four-inch heel is going to help place you higher than your partner’s stomach in pics.

My photographer friend tells me there has been an increase over the last few years of brides getting the photographer to take shots of their heels. Naturally, these babies ain’t from the Primark end of the market – they tend to be Manolo Blahnik’s with the label prominently on display. Ooh, a girl can dream…

Anyway, I’ve attached a pic of my favourite shoes (I talk to them occasionally) and some sites where you can find cut-price designer shoes: