Oh. Sometimes I look for writing jobs on Upwork. Most of the time, it depresses me, so I stick to editing and proofreading jobs. They aren’t well paid either, but tend to be from people who don’t expect the same kind of s**t as this dude… (Bold and italicised text mine.)

“I need someone who is already well-versed in the contemporary romance genre. Someone who writes quickly, ideally $15k/week+ and is open to constructive criticism… You must be creative and an exceptional writer. Not only will you be writing contemporary romance novels, you will also need to stay up to date with the market by reading a minimum of 1 book a month (chosen by me – you’ll likely need to read a book between each one you write).

“…Write detailed book outlines before beginning the book. Come up with unique plots for a great contemporary romance book. Write a full standalone contemporary romance book typically 70k in length – minimum pace of 15k words per week. (Exceptions made for outstanding writers)…

“A bit about me, I’ve been on upwork [sic] for about a year now, and I’ve worked with dozens of freelancers. Once thing I’ve noticed is that people are full of shit when they tell me they’re always on time and are easy to contact. I can sniff those people out relatively easily and I will fire them quickly. I’m not here to babysit, and I will not chase you around. I expect you to respect my time, and in return, I will respect yours. With that being said, I’m extremely fair. [Ya think???] If you can’t make a deadline just let me know in advanced and I will do my best to accommodate you.

“I’m not scary, in fact, I’m actually very nice. If you’re doing your job and are doing it well, we won’t have any problems! I’m looking for someone that I can work with long-term and someone who’s serious about wanting this job…

“Once you are paid for your work, the rights to the book will transfer over to me and I will be the owner of the book. You, the ghostwriter, will not receive royalties or anything beyond the agreed upon price.”

Please, please fellow and female writers, NEVER apply for jobs like this.

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